Business Lunch
13 November
Mike King OMMZ
Business North Harbour’s (BNH’s) yearlong series of events focused on mental health and wellbeing finished in style at packed-out North Harbour Stadium.
BNH’s general manager opened proceedings, mentioning another key business priority: sustainability. If an organisation is nothing without its people, then it makes good sense to take care of them and find ways to make our people more sustainable.
Sarah Chieng of WellnessWorks briefly talked about the benefits of investing in workplace wellness – the ROI can be one to six – and reminded business owners to take care of themselves too. “How can you fill up someone else’s cup, when yours is empty.”
Mike King’s was a deeply personal and insightful presentation. He walked his audience down the path of his own life, beginning at school where he was picked on because he (apparently) had a large head. The day he realised he was funny was a turning point. Suddenly he felt “accepted” but it was also the moment his self-esteem became dependent upon the approval of others. That was the start of a downward spiral, but one that ultimately led him to become a strong advocate for mental health awareness – for which he was awarded New Zealander of the Year 2019.
He shared his four mental health truths:
- Everyone has conversations with themselves.
- People deal with rejection by either (a) blaming themselves, or (b) blaming others.
- Everyone has two internal “voices”: their “inner critic” and their “voice of reason”.
- Nobody has really got their sh*t together.
In his view, the inner critic is the biggest problem. It always comes before depression, because it isolates and creates anxiety.
He talked about how hard it can be for today’s children, as they try to please their parents. Research suggests that dads spend just 4.5 minutes of quality time (i.e., not just in the same room, not just watching TV) with their kids every week from Monday through Friday.
Mike encouraged leaders (parents, business owners, managers) to lead by example. Recognise that perfection is not the only acceptable standard, and to openly acknowledge our own mistakes. Focus on the positive, and, if things go wrong, chat about how we can learn from this.
Mike also reminded us that it is not our job to fix anyone. It is OK to say, “I don’t know.” If someone asks us for help, we do not have to have all the answers. But, we can help them find someone who does have the right skills and expertise, and we can be by their side as they progress through their healing.
