3rd October 2025
Business Lunch
National Hockey Stadium
Just like so many of Sir John Kirwan’s (JK’s) All Blacks games, this event was a sell-out. More than 180 business owners and employees visited the National Hockey Stadium to enjoy the perfect precursor to Mental Health Awareness Week.
After his formal greeting – Tēna koutou – Business North Harbour’s general manager, Kevin O’Leary, began by acknowledging the ongoing support of BNH’s Partners, and, in particular, recognised Dallas Faull from Ember Korowai Takatini. Alongside his co-worker, Toni-Anne Matara, Dallas was a recipient of a LifeKeepers Award in 2021 and, in Ember’s words: brings heart, lived experience, and deep commitment to supporting people with mental health, addiction, and intellectual disability needs.”
Kevin continued: “Dallas is a powerful presence in the local rugby community. As a mentor to rangatahi Māori, he uses rugby not just as a sport, but as a pathway to connection, resilience, and healing. His work is grounded in suicide prevention and whanaungatanga, offering young people a safe space to kōrero and be seen.
“Over the past year, Dallas has responded to the grief and loss felt across the rugby community by creating informal but vital spaces for support on the field, in the clubrooms, and even in car parks. He’s partnered with local rugby clubs to build their capacity to support players and staff, and this grassroots approach is now reaching other parts of the community, including farming whānau.
“Dallas is being recognised for his compassion, his leadership, and his unwavering dedication to suicide prevention through sport and community connection. He is a local champion, walking alongside his people with empathy, strength, and aroha.”
After a well-deserved round of applause, Kevin then introduced JK.
Known for his electric runs on the rugby field, JK is also celebrated for his courageous advocacy off the field. At the height of his sporting career, he was silently battling anxiety and depression, the fight he bravely chose to speak about, becoming a catalyst for one of New Zealand’s most important conversations around mental health.
Today, through the Sir John Kirwan Foundation, Mitey, and Groov, JK continues his mission to support mental health across schools and businesses. His best-selling books, All Blacks Don’t Cry and Stand By Me, have helped thousands of Kiwis navigate life’s challenges with courage and hope.
With extraordinary honesty, JK tells his story in a raw and unfiltered way. His openness makes him both vulnerable and instantly relatable.
He took his audience on a journey through the decades – from the days when he would wake up crying without knowing why, yet believing that crying was a sign of failure – through pivotal moments in which he came to understand himself, and the people who helped change his life.
Sir Michael Jones told him, “JK, you’ve got a good heart.” Dr John Mayhew explained, “It’s an illness, not a weakness.” Dr Louise Armstrong helped him realise that a mental health problem deserves the same care and attention as a physical injury.
It’s extremely hard to pick “highlights” from JK’s compelling narrative, but here are just a few takeaways to consider.
Today, we receive more inputs into our brains in 24 hours than our grandparents did in their lifetime. To counter this overload, JK shared how he keeps anxiety and unwelcome distractions at bay (aka puts Bob the Monkey in his cage, eating a banana).
The Six Pillars of Wellbeing
- Chill
- Do
- Move
- Connect
- Enjoy
- Express gratitude
The “two birds, one stone” approach: for example, walking the dog with his wife ticks off both connection and movement. Cooking dinner gives him focus and keeps Mrs JK happy!
Instead of a To Do list, create a To Done list. Acknowledge what you’ve achieved rather than fretting about what you haven’t. Alongside this, you could make a “worry map” with four segments:
- Stuff I can control
- Stuff I can’t control
- Stuff I can do
- Stuff I can’t do
After all, what’s the point of wasting mental and physical energy on things we can’t do or can’t control?
Figure out the sharks swimming in your surf. In this analogy, JK’s “sharks” were the Dumb Shark, the Imposter Shark, the Guilt Shark, and the Wanting-to-be-Liked Shark. By acknowledging them, you can make peace with them – even if they don’t always stay out of the water.
DOT – Do One Thing. And when you’ve DOTted, DAT – Do Another Thing! He especially encouraged business owners to think about their DOTs in the workplace. It’s not about a bowl of fruit (with flies hovering) in the staffroom or a gym pass that never gets used. Don’t be afraid to show some vulnerability. Maybe, before the morning toolbox talk, let everyone share three things they’re grateful for. In doing so, you start to build a psychological safety bridge, and, gradually, your people will learn that it’s safe to step onto it.
Finally, find some time for yourself every day. And if you’re feeling good and don’t think you need it, find time for someone else.
A Q&A followed, filled with sincere appreciation for the time, advice, honesty, and hope that JK had shared so generously.
