Finding Humour, Hope and Honesty When Life Gets Tough.
Around 40 attendees gathered for the latest Men at Breakfast, a new initiative designed to encourage men to move beyond traditional business bravado and talk more openly about health, family, mental well-being, listening to uncomfortable journeys, business or work pressures and the challenges that often stay hidden beneath the surface.
There was plenty of laughter at 55 Café in Albany, but beneath the humour sat a powerful message about resilience, vulnerability, and facing life when things do not go to plan.
Describing himself jokingly as an “ex-comedian” something the audience quickly realised was far from true, Downs balanced humour with raw honesty as he spoke about confronting mortality, uncertainty, and the realities of treatment.
The guest speaker, David Downs, shared his deeply personal story of being diagnosed with cancer and the journey that followed. Following his diagnosis, Downs approached Stuff with the idea of documenting his journey. What followed was a series of 60 articles that resonated widely with readers, doctors, patients, friends, and families across New Zealand.
Rather than allowing cancer to define every moment, Downs explained how he actively searched for humour wherever possible.
“I can’t do the dishes, I’ve got cancer.”
“Son, please mow the lawn.”
“I’ve got cancer.”
The audience laughed as he described how friends and family eventually created a customised deck of cards filled with excuses for when he wanted to “play the cancer card.” What began as an inside joke has since become an actual product.
But behind the humour sat a far more confronting reality. The fight for survival.
Downs spoke about becoming one of just 180 people in the world accepted into a groundbreaking cancer trial involving CAR T-cell therapy, an advanced treatment that teaches the body’s T-cells to recognise and fight cancer cells.
At one point, he and his family were faced with the devastating possibility of having to sell their home to fund access to the treatment overseas. Instead, friends, family, and supporters rallied around them through fundraising efforts to help cover the enormous costs involved.
Returning to New Zealand after treatment, Downs later became an ambassador for similar CAR T-cell therapy initiatives being developed in Wellington through Malaghan Institute research.
Throughout the morning, one message continually surfaced: perspective matters.
“Sometimes you can’t choose the room you are stuck in, but you can choose how you see it,” he told the audience.
During lengthy five-day hospital stays, Downs transformed each hospital room into a themed holiday destination. Visitors were expected to dress appropriately for whatever destination had been selected, and even hospital staff joined in.
The approach perfectly reflected one of his now well-known philosophies:
“You can’t polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter.”
It was a line that drew laughter, but also captured the spirit of the morning, acknowledging hardship without surrendering to it.
His journey and accumulation of stuff articles eventually became his book, A Mild Touch of the Cancer. The book expands on many of the experiences he shared during the morning, combining humour, honesty, and insight into what it means to navigate serious illness while still finding moments of joy and absurdity along the way.
The Men at Breakfast event aims to create more opportunities for exactly these kinds of conversations. By sharing stories that are often confronting, emotional, and deeply human, the initiative hopes to encourage men to check in on their health, talk more openly, and develop stronger mental well-being strategies both in business and in life.
And if there was one takeaway from the morning, it was perhaps this: humour, honesty, and connection can still exist even in the darkest moments….
Especially for when the glitter turd hits the fan.
