1 September 2026
There was plenty of rugby discussed at this Men at Breakfast event at Harbour Hockey, but Sir Graham Lowe’s message went well beyond the sporting field.
Drawing on a remarkable career in rugby league, personal challenges, coaching experiences and years of working with young people, Lowe delivered a morning centred on leadership, character, resilience and the enduring importance of old-fashioned values.
One of the strongest themes of the morning was the power of sport to influence young people.
Lowe spoke about sport as a language that many young people understand naturally. While some may struggle to engage with traditional education or authority, they will often listen to a coach. That gives community coaches an extraordinary opportunity to influence lives well beyond the game itself.
For Lowe, coaching isn’t simply about teaching someone how to pass a ball, run faster or win a match. It is an opportunity to teach discipline, teamwork, responsibility, resilience and respect.
He has applied that philosophy through programmes working with disadvantaged young people and prisoners, using sport as a vehicle for education and personal development. His belief is that if you can engage someone through something they enjoy, you can create an opportunity to teach them skills that can change the direction of their life.
That philosophy also reflects his own journey.
Lowe spoke openly with plenty of honesty and humour about periods of adversity and the health challenges he experienced during his career. Like many people facing difficult circumstances, he went through periods of anger and frustration. Over time, however, his perspective changed. Rather than continuing to focus on what had happened to him, he began asking what he could do with the experience and how he could use it to help others.
That shift, from asking “Why me?” to asking “What can I do now?” was one of the most powerful lessons of the morning.
Lowe recalled the pressures that come with making difficult decisions as a coach, including criticism from supporters and, at times, scary personal threats.
His message was simple: leadership requires perspective.
People are far more likely to connect with a leader who is authentic, approachable and human. Lowe repeatedly returned to the importance of being yourself rather than trying to imitate someone else.
“Be yourself, because everyone else is taken” neatly captured the idea.
For Lowe, authenticity is particularly important in leadership because people quickly recognise when someone is simply playing a role. Whether in sport, business or the community, people want to know who they are dealing with and what that person genuinely stands for.
He also reflected on the danger of leaders taking themselves too seriously: “If we want to get the best out of others, we have to put an image forward that they can connect with”
Another important theme was the willingness to change.
Lowe described experimenting with different approaches throughout his coaching career. Not everything worked. But that, he suggested, is part of leadership.
The danger is continuing with a strategy simply because it is familiar or because you have already invested time and energy in it. Good leaders need to be willing to assess what is happening, acknowledge when something isn’t working and try something different.
His career provided some extraordinary examples of leadership under pressure. He recalled one occasion when serious health problems landed him in intensive care while his team was preparing for a decisive State of Origin match. Despite being in hospital, he still delivered his team talk to the players.
The story was remarkable, but the lesson was broader: leadership carries responsibility, particularly when circumstances become difficult.
One of the most memorable moments came from his reflections on the people who had helped him through his health challenges. He spoke about returning to the hospital and thanking the nurses and medical staff who had cared for him.
For Lowe, that is what old-fashioned values are about. They don’t require technology, money or status. They are demonstrated through how we treat people.
His definition of a hero.
As young people, we may look to sporting stars and celebrities as heroes. As we get older, our heroes can become the people who quietly make a difference around us, the coach who gives their time, the nurse who cares for someone, the teacher who believes in a student, the volunteer who turns up every week, or the person who simply does the right thing when nobody is watching.
At its heart, Sir Graham Lowe’s presentation was about people: how we influence them, how we lead them, how we respond when life doesn’t go according to plan, and what sort of legacy we leave behind.
His presentation resonated particularly strongly with the spirit of Men at Breakfast: success is not simply measured by what you achieve yourself. It is also measured by the people you help, the standards you set and the values you refuse to compromise.
Thank you to everyone who came along to listen to this absolute Kiwi legend!
A special thank you to Turner Hopkins for sponsoring the Men at Breakfast event. The short video they shared at the beginning was a lovely introduction to the team and a great reminder that behind every organisation are, most importantly, people and the relationships they build.
And a huge thank you to Sir Graham Lowe; I’m sure everyone left the room with a similar message: Be authentic. Keep your word. Look after people. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Be prepared to adapt. And never underestimate the power of simply saying thank you.
